Suppose we spot someone online who appears perfect. They like you, they know your jokes, and they all tell you that they love you. Weeks pass, your relationship develops. Then, all of a sudden, they have to get help. Maybe they want to pay a few last-minute bills, or have a desperate need for funds. You have, before long, paid them. And that’s how romance scams work — seizing on feelings and taking the money.
There’s data on the sad truth about romance scams. 70,000 Americans fell victim to these types of online scams costing $1.3 billion dollars in 2022 alone, according to the Federal Trade Commission and a Malwarebytes survey that revealed 66% of users had fallen victim to a romance scam and 10 per cent have lost $10000 or more. These statistics speak to the gravity of romance scams, and to the need for ever more awareness and caution.
How Romance Scams Work
Romance scams involve hackers making profiles on a dating site or social media, then extorting you into paying them. Scam artists make their profit from the vulnerability and feelings of victims. As confidence builds, they create crises and ask for financial support, which often results in big losses. The scammers keep on experimenting with different methods of using the people’s sympathy and desire for social interaction.
Often, victims end up feeling strong bonds with the swindlers. These relationships are very personal, and lead to victims willingly handing over money. Swindlers usually tell you that they work in fields that do not involve face-to-face interaction (eg, military service, offshore employment). It lets them circumvent face-to-face encounters while maintaining the appearance of real relationship.
Scammers also do “love bombing,” sending accolades, love and messages repeatedly to their victims. This trick creates a deep emotional attachment and dependence. Once the victim is emotionally sucked in, the scammer presents a concocted crisis that needs immediate financial relief. Victims may feel pressured into intervening, as if they are being on behalf of someone in need. Such scams are emotionally manipulated so that victims don’t notice the scam until too late.
The Typical Tricks They Use
In order to take advantage of people, scammers employ the following methods:
- Pretending to be in delicate professions, such as military service or work overseas so that they don’t have to meet you.
- Expressing intense emotions in a short period of time, imbuing them with the illusion of connection.
- Pretending a crisis that demands immediate financial support.
Scammers have the tendency to fabricate stories that make people believe they are the real thing. They may leave photographs, paperwork or small gifts in an attempt to arouse confidence. Eventually, they spin complicated narratives of suffering – a breakdown of the family business, say – in an effort to get sympathy and get recipients to send money. Fraudsters know exactly how their victims feel and how to move through it so they will receive the most potential revenue.
Fraudsters also isolate their victims and ask them to keep their relationship private from friends and family. This saves relatives from spotting the con and telling the victim to avoid sending money. The scammer is aiming at emotionally coercing the victim into financial precarity. Knowing about these tricks will allow you to identify potential scams and stay away from it.
Recognizing the Red Flags
The good news is that you can actually identify scams by checking for the following indicators:
Too much romance, too much focus
Explicit and voluble declarations of love should be suspected if they are early in the relationship. Plagiarism and praise are also tricks worn by scammers in order to instantaneously establish intimacy and trust.
Inquiries for cash, notably via untraceable channels such as wire transfers, crypto or gift cards
Repeated demands for money, especially in emergencies that are uncalled for and pre-arranged, are huge red flags. Phishers may also insist on transferring money in difficult to trace and retrieval forms, like wire transfer, gift cards or cryptocurrency.
Refrain from videoconferencing or face-to-face interaction
Avoidance of video calls or face-to-face meetings is also a big red flag. Fraudsters will usually come up with complex explanations as to why they can’t meet face to face – citing jobs or geography. A person who regularly misses video chats or is constantly excused from video calls is definitely not worth being around.
Conflicting narratives and refusal to give out personal information
And finally, beware of mismatches in their narratives or the unwillingness to share any personal information. Hackers never tell us their own personal history, and can over time provide contradictory statements.
Reporting and Protecting Yourself
Here’s how you can keep yourself safe if you feel that you’re being scammed:
Stop all correspondence with the possible conman
The quickest way to prevent further manipulation and money loss is to immediately cease contact with the alleged scammer.
Tell the FTC via their online incident reporting portal or the dating app/site
It is good practice to report it to the authorities and the website where you stumbled on the fraudster to avoid others falling prey.
Call your bank right away if you’ve wired money
It is imperative to let your bank know about this as they might reverse charges and keep your account from being victimized again. The earlier you react, the better your odds are of undoing the damage.
Only go with good dating apps and platforms
Never send a message through a dating site that’s not a good source and do not transfer the messages to other, more insecure channels.
You should learn about the typical ploys
Be aware of these scams and scammers, so that you and your peers can identify them. The signs to look out for and staying on top of the scams will keep you and your loved ones safe from romance sleazy.
Post your story to share your experience to increase awareness
Telling friends and family about your journey will educate others on how to not fall into the same trap. For yourself and your online privacy, you should know about common scams and update your information with the latest techniques being used by these scammers.
Safe Online Dating Tips
You can avoid romance scams by taking the following precautions:
Organize video calls at an early stage to verify identities
Calls request for video chat can check that who you’re talking to really is who they say they are. Real people won’t be shy to put on their face, whereas scammers will lie.
Verify messages by checking online for the same phrasing on scam-exposure sites
Checking messages twice, by looking up the phrases you’ve found elsewhere on scam-exposure sites, can help you determine whether they were used in other scams.
Don’t send vulnerable images or sensitive financial data
Do not submit sensitive photos or financial information, as these can be manipulated by hackers and they might even use it against you.
Inform loved ones about new connections and meet in public spaces
Telling friends and family about new relationships gives you a third eye and helps loved ones see signs that you’re missing. Getting to meet someone new in public keeps you safe and lets you know that the person’s intentions are legitimate.
Don’t give money to someone you haven’t seen in person
And lastly, never wire money to someone you haven’t actually met, no matter how persuasive their story or request. With your attention and caution, you can deter the fraudsters from using your feelings to steal your money.
Cyber scams are becoming increasingly sophisticated. Stay vigilant and knowledgeable about the types of online scams by accessing various tools and resources that will keep you informed and protected.
